Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
