Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
