there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize