I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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