We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
