I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
