I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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