I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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