is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
