I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
