He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
