So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
