I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
