Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm always down for nudity.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
