very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
