i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
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I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize