Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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