are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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