This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
