i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
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That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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