you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize