we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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