If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
