she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
