I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
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Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
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im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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