dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
