none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
