you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize