Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
