I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
