1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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