I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize