The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
