i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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