HIV tests are more positive than that guy
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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