i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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