my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
