Do you still have your period?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am available for nakedness
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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