if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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