so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
