After last night, I could never be a politician.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
