The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
