i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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