tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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