how can u be prego again
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
