Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
