Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
