I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
