jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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