New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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