I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
