Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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