Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
