Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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