his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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