The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
