I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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