how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
