think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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