I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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