A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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