And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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