I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
