Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
